Wednesday, 25 October 2017

The extraordinary Antarctic plants with superhero powers

They hibernate for centuries and then come back to life! They make their own antifreeze and their own sunscreen! You’ll never look at moss the same way again.

If you’ve ever had difficulty keeping a houseplant alive, imagine trying to grow anything in Antarctica. The sun shines 24/7 in the summer and then vanishes in the winter. Fresh water is available in the spring or summer if the weather is mild enough, but most of the year, it’s trapped as ice. In the winter, temperatures plummet to about -56° F (or 56 degrees colder than your freezer, and that doesn’t include wind chill). How do plants endure here? Unlike Antarctica’s penguins and seals, they can’t just take to the sea when the going gets tough.

Against all odds, a plucky group of mosses call Antarctica home. Sharon Robins, on a plant ecophysiologist at Australia’s University of Wollongong, studies the three species of moss -- Schistidium antarctici, Bryum pseudotriquetrum and Ceratodon purpureus -- that grow in East Antarctica, a particularly cold, windy and rocky area of the continent. Through their leaves (yes, they have teeny leaves), the mosses can absorb water as well as nutrients from sources like penguin poop. “Every time I go to Antarctica, I think, 'How on Earth do these tiny, tiny plants survive in these really, really tough conditions?'” Robinson says. “We humans have got on layers of polar fleece, merino wool and Gore-Tex, and they're just hanging out.” She wants to pinpoint the reasons for their resilience, which could shed light on thriving in extreme environments (like Mars) or preserving food.



The mosses can go into suspended animation for centuries and centuries. Say you’re living at the South Pole. Conditions around you are going downhill -- your water supply is drying up or freezing; the sunlight that you need for energy is disappearing; and the temperature is plunging. But if you’re a moss, no worries! You just dry out, go into stasis, and when the ice melts, you grow again. In 2014, a team from the British Antarctic Survey and the University of Reading revived Antarctic moss that had been dormant for more than 1,500 years. The researchers had collected moss that was frozen in permafrost. The team then sliced a moss shoot into sections and incubated the pieces at typical springtime temperatures. Soon, a moss section that was at least 1,530 years old -- according to carbon dating -- began producing new shoots.

They make their own antifreeze! When an ice crystal forms inside the cell of a plant or animal, the ice will expand and burst the cell walls, causing the cell to die -- and leading eventually to the organism’s death as cell after cell expires. The mosses of Antarctica store their own antifreeze, a combination of special sugars and sugar alcohols, in their cells. During the fall and winter months, these compounds become more concentrated and “stop the nucleation process,” the first steps in the formation of an ice crystal, says Robinson. Researchers from the University of Ottawa and the University of Alberta are now studying an antifreeze compound found in Antarctic fish that could someday lead to creating a substance that might be used on human organs or other tissue. What about moss antifreeze? More studies need to be done first, says Robinson.



And they generate their own sunscreen! Every spring, the ozone hole -- an opening in the ozone layer -- appears over Antarctica. This hole exposes Antarctic moss to dangerous levels of UV-B radiation just when they’re trying to photosynthesize. But the mosses, the ultimate preppers, produce antioxidants to help neutralize the effects of free radicals. Some mosses appear to be more successful at fighting off radiation than others, thanks to where they store their antioxidants and when, and Robinson and her team are trying to figure out why. These answers could help scientists develop new sunscreens for humans or other defenses against skin cancer.

The creatures that make their homes in the mosses are pretty incredible, too. There is a whole community of microorganisms living in the moss, Robinson says, from single-celled algae to insect-like invertebrates that dry out and crumple up in the winter. While some inhabitants have been identified, “we haven't really started to look at what's there,” Robinson says. Among them is the microscopic tardigrade, a species that scientists say will be the last one standing on Earth, surviving until the sun dies. “I'm sure there are invertebrate species we haven't identified yet and lots of microbes we’re not aware of,” she says. Maybe, hiding in the moss, is a microbial key to discovering … who knows? If we don’t continue to study the mosses, we’ll never find out, Robinson says.



Like Antarctica itself, the mosses serve as barometers of climate change. In the same way that the bubbles of trapped air in polar ice cores reveal information about the atmosphere in past eras, absorbed carbon in mosses show us changes in carbon levels over the centuries. “Mosses also have chemical signatures that can tell us how wet or dry it was at particular times,” Robinson says. “For example, we can look at the mosses now, and we can see they're under drier conditions than they were 100 years ago.” Due to climate-induced changes in polar winds, East Antarctica is becoming more of a desert.

To protect these plants, which are among the oldest living things in the world, Robinson is attempting to map the moss on the entire continent. "The big problem in Antarctica is that the mosses are fragmented and scattered over a large area, with rocks in between,” Robinson says. “You don't want to step on them, since they're hundreds of years old, but covering those areas without having people traipsing all over them is a challenge." Plus, they’re very hard to see. In collaboration with NASA, her team is deploying low-flying drones with spectrometers and heat cameras to conduct an aerial survey and assess in which areas the mosses are healthy and where they’re in distress. The goal is to collect enough information so researchers can develop a targeted plan to study and safeguard the plants.



Skeptics might wonder: with all the problems in the world, why worry about moss? Because if they were to go extinct, we’d lose access to a new scientific frontier. “Losing them would be like losing old-growth forests just as they're unlocking their secrets for us,” Robinson says. “Antarctica is a preserve for peace and science, so we have to take responsibility for preserving that biodiversity and take action on climate change. If we do it right, then 500-year-old moss beds could still be around to celebrate their 1,000th birthday.”

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Tuesday, 17 October 2017

Here is a Customization to your Andriod Mobile



The best thing about Android is that it’s completely customizable. There’s almost nothing you cannot change about it.

Many of the best tweaks can be done on devices that haven’t been rooted, but there are many more advanced customizations you can make that make rooting absolutely worthwhile.The Best Tweaks You Can Make To Your Android Without Rooting The Best Tweaks You Can Make To Your Android Without RootingCustomizing your Android device isn't only for the tech savvy. Learn how to get the most out of your unrooted Android phone or tablet

1. A Custom ROM


The most comprehensive way to customize your device, and one of the main reasons people root in the first place, is to flash a custom ROM. For the uninitiated, a custom ROM is an entirely new build of the Android operating system that you “flash” onto your device to replace its original software.What Is Rooting? What Are Custom ROMs? Learn Android Lingo What Is Rooting? What Are Custom ROMs? Learn Android LingoEver had a question about your Android device, but the answer had a bunch of words in it that you didn't understand? Let us break down the confusing Android lingo for you.

Flashing a ROM often has practical benefits. Less than 3% of Android devices have been updated to Marshmallow — if yours hasn’t, you can flash a Marshmallow-based ROM to do the update yourself. If you visit forums.xda-developers.com and search for your device, you’ll find countless ROMs available to try.




The best custom ROMs contain new features and can also look radically different. The popular CyanogenMod includes a permissions manager, built-in equalizer, and comprehensive theming support.What Are The Best Custom Android ROMs? What Are The Best Custom Android ROMs?The moment you realize you can flash your Android phone with a new ROM is a pivotal one. Suddenly, you're free: Endless customization options, no more vendor bloatware.

MIUI, owned by the Chinese handset manufacturer Xiaomi, enables you to turn your Android into something with a more than passing resemblance to an iPhone. And there are so many more options from smaller developers who build them in their free time.

2. Customize Performance

One step down from the custom ROM, but no less powerful, is the ability to customize your phone’s performance. For best results, you could flash a custom kernel, which would then enable you to control the hardware, including how fast the processor runs.Why You Should Consider Using A Custom Android Kernel Why You Should Consider Using A Custom Android KernelDo you want the best performance out of your Android device? Or maybe you want the best battery life? Consider a custom kernel.

Apps like Device Control or Kernel Adiutor are great for this, and they’re free.




Even if you don’t want to change your kernel, you can still makes tweaks to much of your phone’s hardware. With the App Cf.lumen, you can change your display’s color temperature to taste by adjusting the red, green and blue values separately — a feature that will be included in Android N as standard.Everything You Need to Know About Android N Everything You Need to Know About Android NWant to install Android N or just learn about the next Android version? We've got your back.
By flashing Dolby Atmos, ported from Lenovo devices, you can enhance the sound quality coming from your phone’s speakers. And there are tons of root tweaks you can make to improve your battery life.
Usability Tweaks

It’s hard to find phones smaller than 5.2-inches these days. While the size makes them great for most things — browsing the web, watching videos, playing games — they’re not always comfortable to use, especially one-handed.

3. One-Handed Mode



It’s possible to switch your phone into a one-handed mode, if the device is rooted. Apps such as One Hand Mode Xposed Mod (which uses the Xposed Framework) and One Hand Mode Enabler work great for this.Customize Your Phone Without Flashing a ROM With The Xposed Framework Customize Your Phone Without Flashing a ROM With The Xposed FrameworkIt is common knowledge that the best way to customize your Android device is to flash it with a new ROM. It is also wrong.

These apps shrink the interface down into the corner of the screen so that it’s more accessible to your thumb. They aren’t perfect, and some apps don’t react well to it, but you can toggle the feature on and off, and choose when you you want to use it.

4. Thumb Friendly Controls





Along similar lines is LMT Launcher. Available for download directly from the XDA forums, this app places a pie-shaped control panel beneath your thumb containing a group of standard buttons, such as Home and Back.

These buttons perform the corresponding task with a single tap, but can be programmed to perform additional roles through multiple taps, long-presses, and multi-button combinations. If you’re willing to invest some time setting up and learning LMT Launcher, it can become a very efficient way to navigate your phone quickly.

5. Gesture Controls




LMT Launcher also supports basic gestures, but for a truly comprehensive way of controlling your device by swiping your fingers on the screen, look out for GMD GestureControl. The app offers a combination of pre-defined single and multi-finger gestures to do things like go back or open the app drawer.

You can also record your own by drawing a shape (such as a letter) on screen and then assigning a function or app to it. GMD is particularly good for multitasking, since you don’t need to exit your current app to use the gestures. Switching from one app to another, then back again, is done with just a swipe of the screen.

6. Ever-Present App Launcher




If multitasking is your thing, then you will love the omni-present app launcher you can set up using the Xposed module, GravityBox. By first enabling the Custom Key under Navigation bar tweaks then picking your apps under Application launcher, you can assign up to 12 apps to appear in a mini-launcher on the navigation bar at the bottom of the screen.GravityBox Vs XBlast: Which Is The Best All-Purpose Xposed Module? GravityBox Vs XBlast: Which Is The Best All-Purpose Xposed Module?Out of the two great all-purpose Xposed modules for customizing your rooted Android device, which is the best?

Because the navigation bar is almost always visible, you’re never more than two taps away from opening your favorite app.

7. View Running Apps




Once you start switching between multiple apps more frequently, you might need to keep an eye on which ones are running in the background.

Ever since Android 5.0 Lollipop, the Recents button has shown a list of every app you’ve recently used, which means it eventually just lists every app on your phone. With Recently you can change this to only display the apps that are still running. You can then identify which ones you need to close to reclaim your system resources

Customizations don’t always have to be purely functional. Sometimes they’re more about changing how your phone looks, giving it the personal touch.

8. Customize the Navigation and Status Bars


In GravityBox for Xposed, you can tweak the status bar in various ways. It’s possible to redesign the battery icon, move the clock, hide persistent icons (such as Bluetooth) and notifications, and also change the colors of the notifications pane and status bar.



You can also change the color of the navigation bar at the bottom of the screen, and with the app SoftKeyZ it’s even possible to change the navigation buttons themselves. SoftKeyZ gives you well over a hundred different styles to choose from, or you can design your own.
9. Boot Animations

An easy and fun way to personalize your phone is to change the boot animation. You can find animations online on various Android enthusiast forums and flash them manually, or you can do it the quick way using a root app called Boot Animations.

It comes with several dozen alternative animations to choose from and requires no more than a couple of screen taps to install.



If you do decide to do this, it’s essential that you make a Nandroid backup first. If something goes wrong with your boot animation, it can actually prevent the phone from booting altogether. Your backup will enable you to recover pretty quickly.

10. New Emojis


Finally, how about changing up your emojis? Every phone comes with its own set; they mean the same thing but look different. Some platforms may also have a few extra characters not seen elsewhere, and these won’t show up if your device doesn’t support them.



With the app Emoji Switcher you can choose between Google, Samsung, LG, and iOS emojis. If you have a lot of iOS-using friends, then this mod is well worth doing. You can even get those fancy new iOS 9.1 emojis.How to View & Send the New iOS 9.1 Emojis on Android How to View & Send the New iOS 9.1 Emojis on AndroidTired of seeing little boxes when your iPhone-using friends send you emojis? Well, no more. Now you can have all the emojis on your Android device too!


Your Own Customizations

Rooting your Android phone or tablet opens it up to a truly expansive range of customizations. You can tweak how the hardware performs, change how the interface looks, and even adjust how easy it is to use. From the fun to the functional, nothing is off limits.
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Thursday, 12 October 2017

How our projects shape our personalities — and how we can use them to remake who we are


Most of us believe there are two driving forces behind the person known as “you”: nature and nurture. But, according to personality and motivational psychologist Brian R. Little, there’s a third: projects.

There are two ways in which you can think about your personality. The first is in terms of the personality attributes that you have, or your openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeability and neuroticism (what I call the Big Five personality traits). The second is in terms of what you do, or your personal projects: for example, “get over my social anxiety,” “deliver an awesome pitch in my sales meeting,” or “stop procrastinating.” By studying our personal projects, the “doings” of daily lives, we can get a different perspective and greater scope to reflect on our lives than the study of our “havings” alone.

What you do affects who you are. That’s because personal projects are all about the future -- they point us forward, guiding us along routes that might be short and jerky, or long and smooth. By tracing their route, we can map the most intimate of terrains: ourselves. Most thrilling is that we can learn to adjust our trajectories, riding over the rough patches and extending the smooth stretches to make our endeavors more effective. In this way, projects help define us by shaping our capacity for a flourishing life. In a sense, as go your projects, so goes your life.

An important clarification: personal projects are not limited only to formal projects that are required of us, such as getting Mom into a good nursing home. They are also, crucially, acts we gladly choose. Toddlers are pursuing projects when they toddle, and so are lovers when they love. Personal projects can also be fairly trivial pursuits, like taking the dog -- or the cat that thinks it’s a dog -- for a walk. But they can also represent the highest reaches of human aspiration and acts of courage, like Rosa Parks choosing not to move to the back of the bus.

Take a moment to conduct an inventory of your own projects. For ten minutes, list the various projects you are pursuing at present. Don’t agonize over what to write down -- it will probably be a mixture of trivial pursuits and magnificent obsessions. The content 0f this type of assessment, which I call a Personal Projects Analysis (PPA), can be very revealing. My colleagues and I have now studied the PPAs of thousands of individuals, and we’ve identified several major types of content. Here are the most frequent categories of projects that adults engage in (with the most frequent first), together with examples:

Occupational/Work: Make sure department budget is done.

Interpersonal: Have dinner with the woman in the floppy hat.

Maintenance: Get more bloody ink cartridges.

Recreational: Take cruising holiday.

Health/Body: Lose fifteen pounds.

Intrapersonal: Try to deal with my sadness.

Although relatively infrequent, interpersonal projects are especially interesting and important. These are projects focused on the self, such as “try to be less socially anxious” or “become a better listener.” Are they good or bad for us? On the downside, such projects are known to be linked with feelings of depression and vulnerability. If you have projects of this sort, you may find that you get into a kind of ruminative loop where you can’t make progress -- you overthink the change you feel you need to make and over-scrutinize your (lack of) progress. But on the upside, we also have evidence that engaging in interpersonal projects can be associated with aspects of creativity and openness to experience. Why, on the one hand, is a self-change project associated with negative emotions and vulnerability, and on the other, seen as a creative adventure? It is likely due to the origin of the self-focused project.

So if you listed an intrapersonal project or projects, ask yourself: who instigated it? If they spring from your own vision of a possible self, you are likely to feel better while pursuing them, and those projects are ultimately more likely to succeed. Those initiated by others might be willingly undertaken, but if forced or coerced, they may be nonstarters. There is now a significant body of research that shows “intrinsically regulated” project pursuit will be more successful and lead to greater well-being than “externally regulated” pursuit.

The greatest value in thinking of personality as “doing projects” rather than “having traits” is in three powerful words: potential for change. We can consciously choose and adapt our projects in ways that we cannot change our traits. But that doesn’t mean we can leave our traits back on shore, speeding freely across the water toward a self shaped by projects alone. Our projects and our traits are connected. Our research shows that where you stand on the Big Five trait dimensions (to recap, those are openness to experience, conscientiousness, extra version, agree ability and neurotic-ism) affects your appraisal of your personal projects. And this has practical implications for which projects you undertake and how challenging they are for you. For instance, neurotic people have a generalized sense of negative emotions and so are much more likely to appraise all their projects, whether they are interpersonal or academic or work-related, as stressful. If this describes you, there is one practical implication you should know. Make a space in your life for projects that you find uplifting. These needn’t be major projects; indeed, it is better if you have frequent engagement with smaller-scale projects that give you a sense of pleasure. Your natural tendency to see the downside of the larger endeavors of life can be offset by frequent, intense experience with the little things.

Personality traits are certainly a strong predictor of happiness, but projects can trump traits when it comes to well-being. For example, a disagreeable introvert is not necessarily constrained to a life of unhappiness. She might engage passionately in writing a politically charged blog. It brings her deep pleasure both because of its intrinsic meaning but also because she loves making others squirm. This should give you some hope that you are not the victim of the traits with which you entered this world. Your deeds speak louder than your dispositions.

Let’s say, however, that what you wish to do goes against your natural grain. Maybe you are a biogenically agreeable sort, averse to conflict in any form, who nonetheless loves mysteries and dreams of being a hard-boiled detective. Or you’re a natural introvert with a chance to work as a sales representative, a job that requires you to be an over-the-top extravert. Or a highly conscientious, regimented planner who wants to become more improvisational to connect with your free-spirited child. Are you confined only to projects that suit your inborn traits? Not necessarily. In fact, one of the things that makes you so intriguing is your ability to sometimes act “out of character.”

This capacity for shape-shifting is a startling and fascinating aspect of our personalities. The reason we often take on new traits is to more effectively pursue our personal projects. This is how what you do can remake who you are -- and it’s a revelation that turns previous ideas about human personality on their heads. How exactly does this work? Sometimes we want things that require us to stretch ourselves to achieve them. An agreeable person may act disagreeably to book an urgent appointment with an in-demand physician, or a biogenically anxious person may appear poised and unruffled when first meeting her in-laws. These people are engaged in what I call “free traits,” and they are doing so to more successfully pursue a personal project. Free traits may “trick” others into thinking that you are, say, agreeable when in fact you are a biogenically disagreeable person. Or stable when you are highly neurotic. So when we meet and I begin to form my impressions of you, is what I see displayed who you are, really? Is your behavior a trick or a trait? Perhaps neither -- it could be a free trait.

Consider having a job as a flight attendant or a debt collector. Each has an associated personal style that may or may not align with the biogenic personalities of those who work those jobs. A grumpy, taciturn, impatient flight attendant isn’t going to last, nor is a sweet, engaging and forgiving bill collector. But a person who is not biogenically suited to a certain role may still desire to fill it. To survive in their fields, they become site-specific free-trait adopters. At first this can be difficult, but during the course of developing their occupations, they practice again and again until it becomes more natural. Though seasoned travelers might be able to spot them, pseudo-hospitable flight attendants are generally able to pass. Their professional roles matter to them.

If we practice such free traits often enough, they can creep into our personalities in more pervasive and permanent ways.“I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be and I finally became that person. Or he became me. Or we met at some point.” This quote, by Archibald Leach, perfectly demonstrates the power of using free traits to shape who you are. Archibald was a high school dropout, a traveling circus performer. But he wanted more. When he began to gain success as an actor, he changed his name to the one we all know him by: Cary Grant. By consistently acting the part of the cool, confident, witty charmer he eventually, as he put it, truly became that person. Or that person became him. And he flourished.

The phrase “acting out of character” actually has two meanings. It means acting away from our characteristic way of behaving, but it also means acting from character. We often act out of character in the second sense when we guide our actions by our values. You may not be naturally open and extroverted. But given an important occasion or project, you have little choice but to act out of character, to rise to the occasion and be an alternative you -- in a sense, perhaps, an optimized you.
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Wednesday, 11 October 2017

7 smart ways to use technology in classrooms


Elementary school teacher Kayla Delzer’s students tweet, post on Instagram and watch YouTube in class. Here’s why she thinks all all kids should do the same.

Many schools and teachers have an uneasy relationship with technology: they decry its power to distract young people but see it as a necessary evil to be tolerated, or at least strictly limited. Fargo, North Dakota, third-grade teacher Kayla Delzer believes that technology can truly revolutionize education -- but only if educators make wise choices about what is used and how it’s used.

Watch Reimagining Classroom Teachers as Learners and Students as Leaders 



It’s way too late to try to keep tech out of classrooms -- or children’s lives. “We may think we're protecting students when we keep them in a tech-free bubble for the school day, but they eventually leave, graduate, get jobs,” says Delzer. “If we block technology from them, we might actually be inhibiting them. We need to put them in dynamic, responsive environments at school so they can be successful later on.” After trying different approaches and a variety of devices, programs and apps with her students, she has come up with some common-sense guidelines for how adults can help their kids use technology to their best advantage.

Tech tip #1: Something boring on paper is still boring on a tablet or a laptop.

“Using technology simply for the sake of using it is wasteful,” Delzer says. “If tech doesn't transform your classroom, your teaching or your students’ learning, skip it.” One easy rule of thumb: If a project can be done using paper or pencil but you’re doing it on a computer or device, it's not transforming your classroom.

One way that Delzer’s students learn math is by playing an augmented-reality geometry board game called Cyberchase Shape Quest. To participate, kids point an iPad camera at a paper board, which then comes to life with animated math challenges. “It teaches geometry, problem solving and spatial reasoning in an interactive, responsive way,” she says.

Tech tip #2: How tech teaches is as important as what is taught.

Delzer avoids any software that relies on drills and repetition to educate. Instead, she chooses programs that encourage kids to create. One example: Cargo-bot, an app that requires students to write programs that control a robot moving boxes. The goal, says Delzer, is to compose code that makes the robot carry the boxes in the most efficient way possible, forcing kids to develop a number of important abilities, like critical thinking, creativity, problem-solving and logic.

Tech tip #3: Let students sometimes be the teachers.

The thought of mastering many apps, devices and programs in addition to their regular lesson plans will probably make teachers feel overwhelmed. Delzer’s advice: “You don't need to master every single tool before you hand it over.” She likes to give a new tool to a student and ask them to learn how to use it first. After they figure it out, they can teach everyone else -- including the teacher.

Tech tip #4: Find technology that lets kids learn from themselves and each other.

Using an app called AudioBoom, Delzer’s students take turns recording themselves reading classroom books aloud. Each recording is approved by Delzer, who helps kids evaluate factors like intonation, phrasing, speed, emotion and accuracy. Approved recordings are turned into a QR code that is taped to the back of the book that was read. Some books have multiple QR codes attached to them, Delzer says, letting students hear the different choices that their classmates make when reading the same thing.

“At the beginning of the year, my students thought that fast reading was fluent reading,” Delzer says, but after reading aloud and hearing their friends' renditions, they understand the importance of pacing and emotion. Kids can then re-record their favorite books and compare their own recordings to see how their performances evolve after practice. “This helped instill a sense of pride among my students,” says Delzer.

Tech tip #5: Rather than ban phones or YouTube, educators should find smart ways to use them.


“Many schools in the US block YouTube, but I’ve heard it’s the number-one search engine among students in grades 5 through 12,” says Delzer. “So much learning is lost when we block resources from our students. Also, students are pretty savvy, and they can get around even complex filters.”

Delzer’s students create video newsletters that are added to YouTube every month. “I started replacing paper newsletters with video newsletters in 2014 and never looked back,” she says. “There’s a lot of power in having students report what they’re up to, rather than my typing it up in a newsletter.” The kids plan the newsletters -- where they evaluate what they’re learning and discuss classroom happenings -- as well as film them, edit them and add effects.

Tech tip #6: Adults should serve as champions of digital citizenship.

A safe, friendly environment like a classroom is a great place for children to learn how to behave responsibly on the Internet. Delzer has written student rules for Internet use and they include: never tweet anything you wouldn’t say to someone’s face or in front of their grandma; never share personal information; only go to appropriate websites; and always report cyberbullying to an adult. She set up a moderated Twitter account for her classroom so they can practice their digital etiquette, learn how to use social media, and explore their digital footprint. Her students tweet with experts from around the world; they also tweet with other classrooms around the world to share and compare what they're learning.

Teachers should ask their students to Google themselves and then think about what their digital record says about them, advises Delzer. “93 percent of employers now use social media in some way to either recruit or hire employees,” she explains. “That means if our students have a negative digital footprint, they might have just a 7 percent chance of getting a job.” To practice what they preach, adults should also Google themselves and reflect on what they find.

Tech tip #7: Give kids some space to cultivate their own interests.

Inspired by Google’s former 20 percent policy, which let employees use that amount of their workweek on passion projects, Delzer lets her students pursue their own “genius” hours. Her students follow their interests for one hour a week, and some -- but not all -- of their projects are tech-focused. One student built a tin-can robot after learning how to do it by watching YouTube tutorials, and another filmed and edited her own movie. “It really gives kids ownership in their learning,” says Delzer.







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Here’s why dinosaurs matter


They’ve become synonymous with the failure to adapt, but dinosaurs were actually marvels of speed, size, power and versatility, explains paleontologist Kenneth Lacovera. And they could represent one of our best hopes for the future.

Albert Einstein was a complete and utter failure. It’s true he revolutionized science, invented our current framework for understanding the cosmos and bent our very perception of space and time. The principles he laid down made possible the development of GPS, digital cameras, cell phones and countless other products. Computers and semiconductors would not be possible if not for Einstein’s March 1905 paper setting forth his particle theory of light; a few months later, he cinched the case for the existence of atoms. Arguably, the modern age would not have come to be or would have been delayed without his accomplishments.

Yet where is Einstein now? Dead, that’s where. Despite his stunning intellectual prowess, his ability to completely disrupt and replace our view of the cosmos and his heroic achievements that improved the lives of every human to follow, he died from an abdominal aortic aneurysm. Unable to adapt to the sudden and dramatically changing conditions in his own body, Einstein departed life at age 76. We must now conclude that his legacy is a cautionary tale about eventual obsolescence.

Preposterous! Of course. It would be the height of absurdity to conclude that Albert Einstein’s towering accomplishments should be sullied by his own mortality. He was a great man, but a man nonetheless -- a human, a Homo sapiens -- every one of which lives for some short while and then dies. It’s what we organisms do. Marie Curie, Benjamin Franklin and Charles Darwin are no less great because they died. To argue otherwise is ridiculous.


Dinosaurs pushed the envelope of physiological possibility, broke record after record and were paragons of success by almost any measure.

Now that we’ve dispatched that line of reasoning, I’d like to pose a question: why do we besmirch the legacy of the dinosaurs using the very same foolish argument? How did the word “dinosaur” become an epithet to invoke an inability to adapt to changing conditions? Crack open the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, and you’ll find dinosaur means “one that is impractically large, out-of-date, or obsolete.” In the queen mother of all English lexicons, the Oxford English Dictionary, you will find a dinosaur can be quite properly used to refer to “someone or something that has not adapted to changing circumstances.”

I could fill a book with contemporary defamatory comparisons to dinosaurs. IBM is an “IT Giant Commonly Viewed as a Dinosaur,” one headline read. “Intel: A Dinosaur Headed for Extinction?” pondered an investment site. “Both Major Parties Are Seen as Dinosaurs— Old Institutions That Do Not Fit the Times or Challenges of the Day,” opined the Wall Street Journal.

To all that, I say humbug! They should all hope to be so lucky. What CEO wouldn’t daydream about global dominance spanning a geological era? What board chair wouldn’t crave the rapid growth of thousands of successful franchises the way that dinosaur species exploded across the globe? What head of R & D wouldn’t revel in the development of unprecedented feats of speed and size and power? Dinosaurs pushed the envelope of physiological possibility, broke record after record and were paragons of success by almost any measure.

Considering their breathtaking adaptations, such as titanic size, devastating power, extravagant plumage, razor-sharp teeth and bizarre spines, plates, horns and clubs, the public adoration for them is not surprising. What is surprising is our dichotomous relationship with them. How did these versatile creatures, arguably the most successful group of large land animals in Earth history, get labeled as the epitome of prehistoric failure?

Crackpot theories for dinosaurs’ extinction abounded -- mammals ate all their eggs. Or, maybe all the fiber-rich plants died, and they all perished of constipation.

The most damning misconception about dinosaurs is the idea that their extinction represents their failure to change. If only they weren’t such dim-witted, sluggish, stuck-in-the-mud, ponderous creatures, maybe they could have survived and hung on. But they weren’t good enough. Not clever enough, like our own tiny ancestors. They couldn’t hack it, and the cream, like it always does, rose to the top. The mammals took over, and here we are, smarty-pants primates, with dominion over the Earth.

Crackpot theories for their extinction abounded. A pandemic killed them. Mammals ate all their eggs. Their shells got too thin. Maybe all the fiber-rich plants died out, and they all perished of constipation. Maybe they were just too dumb to live.

The nature of their disappearance remained a total mystery until 1980, when Luis and Walter Alvarez (a father-and-son team) presented evidence that the dinosaurs did not fail to thrive -- they were murdered. Snuffed out by a space rock that unleashed hell on earth. It took decades for this idea to catch on, particularly with paleontologists, but most now seem to have finally come around to it.


Dinosaurs, exculpated from blame in their own extinction, should no longer bear the tarnish of failure. They were, and still are, an unqualified success. What’s more, we can learn from them. We should learn from them. To do otherwise would be foolish and arrogant.

Dinosaurs are long-lasting champions of resilience and persistence. They reigned unchallenged for the better part of 165 million years. And that’s only if you exclude birds. If you include birds -- known now as avian dinosaurs -- their incredible run has yet to pass and spans the last 231 million years. Primates have been around for about 56 million years. Our human lineage split from the line leading to chimpanzees six to seven million years ago, and our own species appeared around only 200,000 years ago.

Perhaps it is fairer to compare all mammals and all dinosaurs (avian and non-avian). Our forebears, shrew-like creatures with the unlyrical name morganucodontids, first appeared about 210 million years ago. That’s a respectable run. But by the time of their first appearance, dinosaurs had already walked the Earth for 21 million years. And if every bird on every continent were to die today, mammals would not surpass the temporal success of the dinosaurs until roughly the year 21,002,017.


To be a dinosaur is to belong to a staggeringly successful group of animals whose reign across time may never be matched by humans or any of our mammalian kin.

Dinosaurs are ancient and contemporary. Across the blinding ice sheets of Antarctica, through the cacophonous forests of Amazonia, atop the withering heights of the Himalayas, in oases dotting the Sahara, and in a million other places -- including your backyard bird feeder -- the exquisite adaptations and enduring persistence of the dinosaurs is on display.

As biologists expand their understanding of modern avian dinosaurs, paleontologists are venturing to the far-flung corners of the globe and uncovering ancient dinosaurs at an ever-increasing pace. From their discovery in the early nineteenth century until the mid-twentieth century, the recognition of new species was a rare event, about one per year. In 2016, 31 new dinosaur species were described! Every year, we discover that dinosaurs were more widespread, more diverse and more amazing than we ever dared to imagine.

This treasure trove of information comes at an auspicious moment. As we move into an uncertain environmental future, it has never been more important to understand the past. Want to design a system to move heavy loads over rough terrain? Dinosaurs did that. Want to understand mostly passive and efficient cooling systems? Sauropods were experts. Interested in upcycling, in repurposing technology? Look to the dinosaurs. Feathers are a marvelous example of exaptation, or the process of acquiring functions for which they were not originally adapted. Interested in resilience? Avian dinosaurs survived the worst catastrophe in last quarter billion years, and today outnumber mammalian species by more than three to one. Since da Vinci, and probably long before, humans have been fascinated with self-powered flight, something that we’ve been unable to substantially achieve. Dinosaurs did this 150 million years ago.

Hardly the embodiment of obsolescence, more than 18,000 species of avian dinosaurs flit, trod and swim about our planet today. To be a dinosaur is to belong to a staggeringly successful group of animals whose reign across time may never be matched by humans or any of our mammalian kin.

Global warming, sea level rise, the catastrophic degradation of our environment and the heartbreaking and costly biodiversity crisis all loom large on our horizon. People, even paleontologists, are more concerned with the future than with the past. But we don’t have access to the future. We can make no observations of it and can conduct no experiments in it. As for the present, there’s not much to it, a wisp of time separating that which can be from that which has been. The sentence you are reading is already in your past.

But the past can be embraced. It’s in the hills, under the oceans. You can hold it. Crack it open. Put it in a museum for all to see. Most important, the past is our guide to the future, the only one we will ever have. When the bank robber Willie Sutton was asked, “Why do you rob banks?” he replied, as the story goes, “Because that’s where the money is.” Why study the past? Because that’s where the answers are.

No analogies are perfect, and the ancient record does not contain all the answers. But we would ignore it at our peril. Winston Churchill reportedly said, “The further back you look, the further ahead you will see.” Only the past provides the broad view that we desperately need to prepare for the future. We can now gaze out upon Earth’s ancient worlds from many vantage points; vistas cut through time for the passage of our imagination. Each view has much to teach us, but no lookout commands the attention and holds the allure of the precipice on which we stand when we view the ancient world of the dinosaurs.

Excerpted from the new book Why Dinosaurs Matter by Kenneth Lacovara.
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How to draw your own selfie — using your personal data


Designer Giorgia Lupi wants to change the way we think about data -- far from being cold facts and numbers, it can be warm and often flawed. Follow her step-by-step instructions to generate a data-driven perspective on the person you know best: you.

We humans constantly generate data, and it’s constantly being tracked for us. Every step we take, every item we purchase, every website we visit snowballs into a mountain of information -- it’s no coincidence that it’s called Big Data. Data drives many of our decisions today: for example, Amazon suggests what we should put into our shopping carts based on its analysis of our buying history and the history of people with similar tastes; Netflix deploys proprietary formulas to steer us to movie and TV choices so we keep bingeing. Data can also be a great source of anxiety -- we worry about our personal information being stolen or used against us. But what if we could take ownership of our day-to-day data and use it to tell our own story instead?

That’s what Giorgia Lupi, co-founder and design director at Accurat, a New York City- and Milan-based firm, is trying to do (TED Talk: How we can find ourselves in data). She looks at data from a perspective she calls “data humanism” that emphasizes its vitality and color. It’s time, she says, “to begin designing ways to connect numbers to what they really stand for: knowledge, behaviors, people.” She urges to think beyond the hackneyed forms of data visualization -- the bar graphs, the linear timelines -- and dream up other ways to turn statistics into a story. A data portrait can be a great way to begin reclaiming and recycling your personal information. And there’s no right or wrong way to do it; it’s like a selfie, but made out of data points rather than pixels.

Here’s a template you can use to start taking your data in your own hands. The process is straightforward: just answer these questions, then draw. And don’t worry, it's meant for artists andnon-artists.























































Remember that data, like us, is imperfect. “It’s time to leave behind any presumption of absolute control and universal truth,” says Lupi. Since we get our data from humans; it’s riddled with human error and tainted by biases. We should embrace these imperfections, just as we embrace imperfections in ourselves and others. These portraits are only the start of forming a new relationship with your data. Once you feel more connected to it, you’ll see it differently. We must treat data “as the beginning of the conversation,” Lupi says, “and not the end.”


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And you thought all that could be done with scissors and a sheet of paper is making snowflakes? Take a look at the spellbindingly intricate tapestries that artist Karen “Bit” Vejle conjures with just her scissors and imagination.



At Easter in Denmark, children commonly make greetings called gækkebrev. Taking a piece of paper, they fold it and cut out a design (often, there’s a poem on the sheet). The sender leaves the letter unsigned, and their recipient has three chances to guess their identity. If they can’t, they owe the sender an egg or a kiss. This was a favorite tradition of Karen “Bit” Vejle , when she was growing up in the town of Brovst, even though her senders were always able to guess her handiwork because her cuts were so intricate.

Historians believe psaligraphy, or the art of papercutting, was practiced as early as the fourth century AD in China. It became popular in Europe in the 16th century, and 19th-century Danish author Hans Christian Andersen was known for making playful paper cuts while he regaled people with stories. Vejle’s first encounter with a contemporary psaligraphist was in Copenhagen’s Tivoli Gardens when she was 16. “I saw a man sitting by a lake, and he was cutting a piece of art from paper. I felt almost like I was hit by lightning,” she recalls. “I watched him for at least half an hour, and then I went home and grabbed my mother’s embroidery scissors. I’ve cut every day ever since.”

Calming body and mind with craft

This depiction of a woman sitting on a box full of “tears and prayers” is a self-portrait. Vejle worked as a TV producer until the early 2000s when she was diagnosed with myalgic encephalopathy (ME), a neurological disorder characterized by chronic pain and exhaustion. “I made this when I was very ill,” says Vejle. “In the middle there is a trapped bird, and it wants to get out and live again. The square below symbolizes how having ME is almost like fighting a battle every day. You need to make a lot of small efforts to get through your day.”

Vejle’s art has been driven in part by her illness. While she’d been cutting since her teens, she turned to it to keep her mind busy when a particularly intense period of fatigue forced her to take a leave of absence from work for several months. When a coworker visited her at home -- she was then living in Trondheim, Norway -- he was stunned by what he found. “I was sitting and cutting, and he saw my bits and papers spread all over the floor. He grabbed his phone and called the Museum of Decorative Arts and Design in Trondheim, and said, ‘You have to come see what Bit has.’” After encouragement from the curators, Vejle eventually quit her TV job and began exhibiting her work. She believes the focus required to cut her pieces helps her cope with ME.



Paper premonitions


Vejle says designs often pop up in her head as she’s falling asleep: “Images come to me; this has been my process since I was a kid.” After she wakes up, she rips off a swatch from a specially sourced 10,000-meter paper roll. She doesn’t fold the paper or sketch out her designs first, although she does draw some lines to indicate the general shape of the cut. Then, she just starts. “This is where the magic comes in. If you understand that, you will have a bigger spectrum of ways to manipulate your paper,” she says.

Vejle maintains that papercutting is not a rare gift she’s been endowed with. She believes anyone can do it; it’s all about training yourself, and she attributes her exceptionally steady hands to patience and decades of practice. “It’s a very honest artwork. You cannot cheat because what you have cut out is cut out,” she says. “I have made a lot of mistakes through the years, but it’s like if you give a kid a violin and they practice a lot, there will come a point when they no longer make mistakes.”



The significance of the ballerina bulldog

The “ballerina bulldog” -- a dancer accompanied by a dog -- is a recurring motif in Vejle’s work. It’s a character she’s made since childhood and one she sees as a symbol of artistic dedication. “A ballet dancer has to work incredibly hard and stay focused for many years to be able to perform,” says Vejle. “It says so much about what we as human beings can achieve.” Like the ballerina, she is methodical -- even obsessive -- when it comes to her craft. For instance, although she has tried hundreds of pairs of shears, she cuts only with her mother’s embroidery scissors (but worries she’ll eventually break or misplace them). Vejle had the honor of being the first person to wield Hans Christian Andersen’s snippers after his death. “They were enormous,” she says. After she completes a piece, she frequently tucks it under her carpet at home to keep it flat and safe from harm -- something she’s done since her teens.



A paper representation of present-day Norway

For Paper Dialogues -- a 2014 exhibit created in collaboration with Chinese art professor and psaligrapher Xiaoguang Qiao --Vejle did seven large-scale cuttings of dragon eggs. Dragons are an important symbol of power and strength in both Asian and Scandinavian cultures, and Paper Dialogues celebrated that joint heritage. The two-meter-high eggs took her more than two years to create, and she filled each delicate orb with icons from Norway’s past, present and future. Pictured above is one of Vejle’s eggs depicting the country’s present. “The frame is made of snowflakes. There are patterns of the high mountains, the deep valleys, the Northern lights and the sunsets, which are very intense in Norway,” she says. She snipped silhouettes of flowers to signify a trio of famous Norwegians: artist Edvard Munch, writer Henrik Ibsen and composer Edvard Grieg. Scaling a staircase are 12 Norwegians, each sharing their own story through symbols. “There is a person with a salmon and a mourning mother with a rose on her back, representing the tragic 2011 shooting here,” she says. And, she adds, “there is a troll, because Norway is full of trolls.”



A celebration of religion and folklore

Representing Norway’s past, this egg is framed with a braid of flying dragons. The images are inspired by 12th-century stave churches, distinctive wooden structures that contained Christian and Nordic iconography. Carvings of dragons buttressed their roofs and guarded the entrances to protect parishioners. “This dragon egg tells the story of the christening of the Norwegians. The figure in the middle is from early churches, and she is sitting on a dragon throne,” Vejle says. “She has a key with her and that’s a symbol of power.” The psaligrapher enjoys creating designs that reference her country’s history, fairy tales and natural wonders. “My tradition of using papercuts to tell stories is related to the very first religious images in Scandinavia,” she says. “Before people could read and write, they went to churches to hear God’s word but didn’t understand it because it was in Latin. Stories were painted on the walls, just like cartoons. That’s exactly what I’m doing.”



Showing sound through paper

Research for one of Vejle’s papercuts can take several months. To make this piece that was inspired by Dmitri Shoshtakovich’s Opus 8, Vejle listened to the piano piece every day for two months and also read everything she could find about the composer. Only after she’d memorized every note did she feel ready to begin cutting. “It is really easy-peasy, just mathematics,” she says about her process. “You have to form how you’ll cut notes and how a crescendo should look. I built this papercut like a musical work.” She used the cut’s top border to represent sound -- how the composition swells, builds and develops -- while the bottom border -- trimmed with birds and pipers -- is figurative. “This particular music piece is rather difficult for people to understand if they’re not into music, so I thought they should have something else to be able to look at,” says Vejle. The five-meter-long papercut took her more than nine months to complete.



Making multiple versions

All-knowing sibyls dot the ceiling of Rome’s Sistine Chapel. She took one of the women and surrounded her with jumping deer -- happy objects -- as well as shadowy skulls and birds­ -- upsetting ones. For the artist, this piece is about the difficulty of making choices when you’re pulled in many directions. “Everything in life we do requires our choosing things,” says Vejle. “We are responsible for what we choose, but if we’re aware of it, that’s good because then we won’t do very foolish things.” When it comes to choice in her own life, she supports it -- she likes having more than one version of a papercut. Since her teens, Vejle has always cut two layers of paper at a time. After she’s finished, she leaves one sheet white and sprays the other black. Vejle likes mounting her work between two panes of glass in order to emphasize its silhouettes.



Inspiring a new generation of paper artists

For “Twittering in the Royal Copenhagen Tree,” a three-meter-tall whopper of a papercut, Vejle filled it with 100 characters, each of which has a different story to tell. Snobbish crows, wise men driving cars, dieting ladybirds, and, natch, a ballerina are anchored by a central tree trunk. “I always tell stories; you’ll find several in each paper cut,” says Vejle. “If you are a child you will see one thing, if you are an adult you will see something else.”

Besides making her own art, teaching and inspiring new psaligraphers are equally important to Vejle, who now lives in the North Sea beach town of Blokhus, Denmark. In March 2018, she and her daughter plan to open a papercut museum in Blokhus. Besides displaying artists’ work, it will host workshops and classes for amateurs and experts alike. A visit to the museum will be a totally unplugged experience, Vejle says. “It lays very deep in our DNA to use our hands. With all the technology that’s around us, we don’t use them anymore. My museum will be a place where there is no technology. You have to meet the paper in person and you will be in direct contact with the material.” And, “it does something good for your soul,” she adds.


All images from Karen “Bit” Vejle.
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Three-step process to help you identify -- and get -- what you most want to get out of your marriage.

What is marriage for? In modern societies, we can have financial security, cohabitation, sex, love, children and more without being married. This makes the institution less essential -- and much more flexible.

We have the freedom to determine what we will and won’t seek from our marriage, which affords us the chance to build a relationship that plays to our strengths and circumvents our weaknesses.

  • Will we seek financial security? 
  • Emotional warmth? 
  • Hot sex? 
  • Exciting adventures? 
  • Intellectual inspiration? 
  • Co-parenthood? 
  • Cultural similarity?

Most of us haven’t thought seriously about what we’re seeking from our marriage. Sure, we probably want love, sex and companionship. Chances are, we prefer a partner who brings out the best in us. But these thoughts tend to be vague, and we rarely think about the elements in the marital buffet that we’re notchoosing, which is required if we want to focus our resources on the elements that we are choosing.

1. First, do an inventory of what you want from your marriage.

In a sense, this task is impossible. Why? We’re not always conscious of what we’re asking of our marriage, we might be in denial about how important certain things are to us, or our memory during the process could be imperfect. But there’s no need for perfection. The goal is to think in a more sophisticated way about whether the requests we’re making of our marriage are reasonable -- and how we might fulfill some elements outside of it instead.

We can divide our marriage requests into three categories: 

(1) needs that we can meet only through our partner
(2) needs that we can meet either through our partner or some other significant other (OSO), such as a friend or family member
(3) needs that we can meet through our partner, through an OSO, or on our own.

Let me offer an example. Jasmine is 40 years old and married to James, with whom she has two daughters. She and James both work full-time and are extremely involved parents; they rarely see their friends. They live together, and their marriage is monogamous. First, what are the needs or goals that Jasmine can meet only through her marriage? These could include to develop and sustain a warm emotional climate in the home, serve as the physical and sentimental center of a happy, extended family, have a partner who is graceful at social events, have a competent co-parent, and have a healthy sex life. Second, what are the needs or goals that Jasmine is looking to meet through her marriage, but that she could also meet through an OSO? Some of these might be to receive emotional support when something bad happens at work, celebrate when something good occurs there, debate politics, attend cultural events, and be appreciated for her sense of humor. Third, what are the needs or goals that Jasmine is looking to meet through her marriage, but that she could also meet through an OSO or on her own? Some of these could be to learn to meditate, generate a long-term career strategy, become a kinder person, deepen her religious practice, and sharpen her logic skills.

This list, though far from comprehensive, helps illustrate the different kinds of goals that many of us look to our marriages to fulfill. To identify your goals, try thinking about them in terms of different life domains: interpersonal relationships, work, health and fitness, money management, pleasure, leisure, spirituality, social activism, parenting, and so forth.

2. Assess the resources and skills that you have.

After taking an inventory, we can search for places where our marriage is not doing a particularly good job of fulfilling our needs or where one partner must invest exorbitant effort to help the other meet these needs. Then we can consider if we could better meet that need through another person or solo. For example, if we notice that our spouse becomes frustrated whenever we talk about office politics, we might choose to invest in a relationship with a sympathetic coworker. Or, if our nurturing tendencies are stifled by our spouse’s independence, we might choose to reach out to friends who could use our support.

Although using our social network to fulfill our needs is less efficient than relying on marriage, it has its advantages. First, it’s unlikely that any one person has the optimal skill set for all of our needs, so it’s wise to leverage your network. Second, our spouse will not always be available. He or she may have to travel for business, get sick, or be consumed by a project. Third, our interdependence with our spouse means that stressful periods for us are likely to be stressful for him or her, too.

3. Come up with a plan to fulfill your goals and needs.

After we’ve taken an inventory and assessed our available skills and resources, we can generate a new plan for meeting our needs. For the first set of needs and goals -- those we can meet only through our spouse -- outsourcing fulfillment is not an option. In that case, we need to evaluate whether applying effort (from our self, or spouse, or both) can fulfill this need or goal; if so, how much effort it would take; and whether that level of effort is worth it.

If we decide the effort required is too high, we may need to recalibrate. If an insufficiently warm emotional climate results not from a lack of love but from different styles of handling conflict -- perhaps our partner yells and we withdraw -- we might consider letting go of that particular need or goal. Maybe we can work on ourselves instead, trying to be less conflict-averse and recognizing that expressing anger and frustration can be constructive if handled skillfully. The same process could apply to the second and third sets of needs (those we can also meet through OSOs, and on our own).

Consider the goal of learning to meditate. In an ideal world, we’d do it with our spouse, but perhaps he or she simply isn’t interested. However, we could easily meditate with an interested OSO or on our own. By assessing each of the major needs that we want our marriage to help us fulfill, we’re playing to the strengths of our spouse, our OSOs, and ourselves, as well as setting ourselves up to achieve higher levels of need fulfillment. And if we and our spouse focus on developing our social networks and our personal skills, our marriage will consist of two better-adjusted people as a result.

                                                                                                      
                                                                                                         Relationship researcher Eli J. Finkel 
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Grieving the people we’ve loved and lost

We can stay connected to them by creating our own special rituals, says psychologist and grief expert Kim Bateman.

In 1990, one of my younger brothers died in an avalanche while extreme skiing. He was only 21, and the horrific memory I have from that time is of his body lying at the bottom of a 750-foot cliff, all his bones broken. When he was little, he used to break his bones a lot because he was a risk taker, and the doctors always commented on how quickly he healed. But this time I knew there would be no healing, for him or for our family. It seemed like our identities shattered alongside his body on the rocks.

My son, who was four, asked me, “What happens when you die? Where did Chad go?” Being an academic, I said, “Well, Christians believe he's in heaven with God, and Buddhists believe he's going to come back as something or someone else. And there are scientists who believe we’re all made of energy and we just rejoin the natural cycle when we die.” And my son looked at me with wide eyes and said, “Yes, Mommy, but what do we believe?”

When we're forced to say goodbye to someone in the physical form, we're also being offered an opportunity to say hello to them in our imaginations.

It was a good question and I started looking to my own discipline, psychology, for answers. Some grief theorists say we humans invest our love or energy in a person and when she or he dies, we withdraw that energy and reinvest it in other people or projects. While that perspective may help some, it missed the mark for me. Because when we lose a loved one, we still love them. And I wasn't ready to stop loving.


Then I came across this Japanese proverb, which said, “My barn having burned to the ground, I can now see the moon.” I loved this quote, because it introduced me to the idea that when we're forced to say goodbye to someone in the physical form, we're also being offered an opportunity to say hello to them in our imaginations. Although gone in the material world, our loved ones can become more psychologically present to us.

And we can use this presence to create rituals that will bring them back and provide us with a means through which we can still love them. One example comes from a folktale I've heard about a woman named Nyctea, which means "of the night" and evokes the spirit of the owl. Nyctea’s job is to protect that which is in danger of being lost in this world, so her cave is filled with bones. She has mouse bones and rattlesnake bones and hawk bones and coyote bones, but the most precious bones are those of her namesake, the owl. She combs the mountains and riverbeds and gathers them one by one, bringing them back to her cave. There, she patiently reconstructs the owl’s skeleton. When the skeleton is complete, she sits by her fire and thinks of what song she will sing. In this quiet moment of love, the great drum of her heart becomes audible. The rhythm gives rise to a song and she sings into being the owl’s smooth feathers, its broad wings and its round eyes. On her last note, she breathes life into the owl, and when it feels that life in its lungs, its yellow-green eyes open wide and it flies up out of the cave and into the world.


We must gather our loved ones’ bones and piece them together -- they will be the lifeline that carries us through our grief.

When we grieve, aren't we all a little like Nyctea? Aren't we collecting bones and protecting that which is in danger of being lost? When my brother died, I remember that every word he had written suddenly seemed important. We wanted to dance to his music and to smell his clothes. The small pin he owned that said “Just visiting this planet” seemed like a premonition. We must gather our loved ones’ bones and piece them together -- they will be the lifeline that carries us through our grief.

As a clinical psychologist, I've taught about death and dying and facilitated grief workshops for more than 20 years. I’ve seen many people sing over bones, each in their own way. One woman in my town lost her 18-month-old son in a horrific car accident. Two months after it occurred, when she was living in the most jagged places of mourning, she re-read the sheriff's report. It said an unsecured car seat may have contributed to the fatality. So she set up car seat checkpoints and people lined up for blocks. She was a tiny person, and she’d get into each car, put her knee in there, and pry and pull and tug until the seat was secure. She said every time she pulled on a seat belt, she felt like she was loving her son.

I worked with a six-year-old girl whose mother died of breast cancer. She also felt responsible for her little brother who was only four, and her father was beside himself with grief. I said, “Tell me about your mother,” and she told me, “Mama loved tea.” She came up with the idea of holding a tea party for her. On Sundays, she’d set places for her brother, herself and her mother, and she and her brother would tell their mother about what happened to them that week. After a couple of months, even their father joined in. That girl is now in college, and she says it's still a meaningful ritual. Whenever she wants to talk to her mother, she just puts an empty teacup across the table from herself.

Another woman lost her husband after 45 years of marriage. Since he was the one who drove, she decided she’d walk or take the bus instead. Through an interminable, gray, windy winter, she kept noticing one thing. It seemed like everywhere she went, there were single gloves laying on the ground. Something about these gloves spoke to her because they were useless without their mate, so she bent down and picked them up. She started bringing them home and put them in a dresser drawer until it overflowed. Then, she took out her husband's ladder and carried it to the tree in the backyard that they’d planted together on their wedding day. She climbed the ladder and hung all the gloves -- fastened to fishing lines -- on the tree’s bare branches. She said when the wind blows, it’s like they are waving goodbye and waving hello.

When my children were little, on the anniversary of my brother's death I used to take them to the river with a purple rose (my brother loved the Grateful Dead). The children took turns pulling off its petals. With every petal they removed, I’d tell them something about their uncle and then they’d throw it in the water. Together, we would watch those memories and stories float away.

To create your own ritual, ask yourself what brought joy to your loved one. The more specific you can be with your answers, the better.

How can you do this in your own life? As the story of Nyctea suggests, start by listening to the great drum of your heart. Let it be your guide. Then, there are a number of questions that can direct you in creating a ritual. Ask yourself what brought joy to your loved one; the more specific you can be with your answers, the better. Maybe Nana loved putting up ham pies for Easter, your uncle sang Frank Sinatra in his underwear on the balcony, your cousin wore a shirt under his graduation gown that said “My parents just think I went to college,” or your sister loved the tingly feeling of catching snowflakes on her tongue. Think about your loved one and what they enjoyed.

Also, think about the physicality of the person you lost. Were they small like a bird, tall like a giraffe, or substantial like an ox? What did it feel like to hug them, and who was the first to let go? What smell do you associate with them? Maybe it's fresh-cut grass, Trident gum, sesame oil, lilac, peaches or clove cigarettes. When you were with your loved one, how did they make you feel? Was it like climbing into a comfortable easy chair and you always felt better about yourself? Or was it more like a roller coaster ride and they tested you? What values did she or he feel strongly about? Maybe it was a good work ethic, social justice, freedom or fairness -- you can try to incorporate that ideal into your own ritual.

When we sing over the bones of the people we care for, we are sitting in the place of the greatest love imaginable. And we’re not only singing up new life for our loved one, but we’re also singing up new life for ourselves. Poet W.S. Merwin wrote, “Your absence has gone through me/Like thread through a needle./Everything I do is stitched with its color.” May your song be colorful, and may you keep loving.

This piece was adapted from Dr. Bateman’s TEDxYouth@GrassValley Talk: Singing over the bones.
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